Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Progress Photo Time.

Okay, okay... So I may have been biased in picking a photo that I happen to catch at a good angle, hehehe. But its kind of fun taking pictures during this transformation, and rather than hating stacks and stacks of photos (chubby cheeks, fat arms, double chins)... I'm finding ones really have my personality peeking out!

My wiggly, jiggly upper arms are another story, but we're working on those! Maybe I'll be like Dumbo oneday and flap my 'wings' and fly!

Monday, April 25, 2011

A very pouch-worthy necklace!!!

Does anyone else find the humor in this? Post RNY, I sure do! Actually, I find it so endearing and yet a bit morbidly adorable that I'm thinking of buying it...

I found this at Etsy, from a seller called recycledrings. She calls it the "Belly Ache Necklace", but it screams 'pouch' to me!!!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

I heart Fla-Vor-Ice SUGAR FREE freezer pops!!!

Summer's coming and in previous years, John and I would buy one of those giant boxes of OtterPops and freeze them. Then obessively eat them. Okay, I would eat them obessively, but who's judging?

Something about OtterPops just reminds me of being a kid. Nothing is better than a frozen OtterPop on a hot and unbearable summer day. (Well...in the Pacific Northwest it must be mentioned that we have, like maybe, ten days like that a year, don't tease, lol!)

Anyway, I was bummed thinking that low and behold, these frozen treats would be added to my 'do not eat' list.

That is.... until....

I was at Walgreens last night and found Fla-Vor-Ice Light (& Sugar Free!) freezer pops. It made my night, so much so, that I had John take my picture with the yet-frozen-fresh-out-of-the-box pops (see below).

You would have thought I had met Bradley Cooper or some other celebrity at Walgreens, I was THAT EXCITED! If you are like me and miss OtterPops, and live near a Walgreens: go now! The containers are definitely smaller than the traditional OtterPops you'll see everywhere, but Walgreens had them on special for $1/box. Each box has 16 freezer pops. Here is a photo of the packaging so its easier to track down:

The best thing, was they actually tasted pretty darn good! It freakin' made my night and I just wanted to share!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Pouch-friendly drinks, yum!

I love when going to the grocery store (in my case, the local Fred Meyers) and finding a product that is friendly to the pouch.

It seems like I'm somewhat obessed with finding the perfect low-sugar/no-sugar drink to quench my thirst. I find water boring on most days, honestly. Sometimes its ready-to-drink protein drinks, Gatorade G2, Trop50, or the current favorite: diet Snapple.

Today, I found two things I'm itching to try when I get home:

(MiO liquid Fruit Punch, its super tiny and you add a squirt to 8 ounces of water. I'm facinated by it! It was the tiniest bottle, its like pouch-friendly flavored extract! The Fred Meyer's had four different flavor options: Fruit Punch, Berry Pomagranate, Strawberry Watermelon, & Peach Tea.)

(This instantly made me think of the Cherry Limeades from Sonic. Some days I really miss those sickly sweet carbonated drinks, but am much happier with my new self, so I guess going without is okay. I kind of hope it tastes like the stuff at Sonic! I was thinking of filling up a giant cup with blended ice chips - refreshing!)

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Decorating the shower walls... with hair?

I just pulled out an extraordinary amount of hair while showering. Extraordinary.
My hair is still in one of those twisty turban things as I write this. I am that freaked out. I mean I knew it would happen, and it has been happening... but... wow...

I'm going to up my intake of protein shakes. I think that will help in the long-term. Any other advice?

My hair has always been extremely thick, long, but fine... And I'm a little scared at the prospect that my pouch and my hair just don't get along!

Why can't it fall out of say... my legs! I hate shaving my legs! Armpits too, for that matter.

Off to work, I go. Sigh.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Lost and running...

When I started getting really fat and out of control, I think I distanced myself from a lot of friends and acquaintances because I was ashamed of how I looked. There were other factors as well, including losing a job, which was embarrassing at the time. (It was in December of 2006, a time right before the economic crisis when collecting unemployment or being fired was not something that others related too.) People who I thought were my friends, would tell me that working at Starbucks as a barista was 'beneath me' and 'it was glorified fast food'.

It was like the people I thought I knew faded away, because I didn't have a high profile job with a fancy title or because I wasn't involved in the local Chamber or Rotary. I couldn't afford to go out to the nice restaurants in Olympia, and have martinis with girlfriends Sex-And-The-City-style. I couldn't afford a gym membership, heck I could barely afford rent.

Instead, I was slingin' their coffees and lattes in the morning. They didn't understand it was because I hated what I was doing before, wanted a fresh start, wanted to work at a company I respected, and that I was doing something I was damn good at; all they saw was that I was serving them.

Looking back, I'm not sure if it was me or them, who changed. Probably a bit of both. A vicious cycle.

With the help of my new pouch, life is getting a bit better. Everyday seems brighter. I'm more active. More energy. But looking back, I'm realizing that I am feeling a little bittersweet. I'm sad that I let myself get to that point. A point where I was so unhappy. I'm sad to think that I avoided a lot of friendships because my social, economic and physical statuses changed so drastically.

But out of this, by working for a company that was 'beneath me', I was able to get health insurance to help pay for gastric bypass... I learned who my real friends where (tho saddened how few I really had)... Some days I still feel really alone, surely I can't be the only one? Sure each of us has different reasons and paths, but sometimes I feel that this journey of WLS is a lonely one.

For the first time in a long time, I'm focusing on myself first and foremost. But rather than taking that energy and getting the instant gratification from food, I'm channeling it in ways that make me a healthy person. And that feels good.

I didn't realize all the emotions that would come along with having this new pouch. I have become accustomed my streamlined, lean lifestyle, tho I look forward to the day I can have it a bit more complex. I used to be such a 'yes' girl, and I'm not anymore:

I'm a 'me' girl.

(On a side note, the title of this post comes from a song performed by an Australian band called Powderfinger. Its from the album called Dream Days at the Hotel Existence, if you are curious, iTunes it.)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Three months.

Three months ago, I had my very first surgery (well it was three months on April 4th, but I'm a little slow to post), boy was it a doosey! But I came out okay, it was textbook, and have been without complications. Knock on wood.

Everyday hasn't been easy, but overall I've felt awesome! The two week liquid diet before my operation, and subsequent four week liquids after, was a true test of willpower. I'll never forget it. Ever. It was my version of hell on earth, but the funny thing is that, looking back at that time now, it feels like ages ago. And I'm okay that I had to do it.

Its like the sum of all things were okay to get me to the end... And I'm only 3 months out!!! Imagine how I'll feel one year... two years.... five years post-surgery.

Everyone likes to see pictures, to see progress, and although I don't have quite enough guts to post the photo of me pre-op in my tank and boyshorts into the random inter-webs, maybe it will happen oneday.... maybe... a very small maybe! (p.s. I did post this picture on ObesityHelps forum tho, lol!)

Here I am in the hospital... A happy face for a girl so terrified! At this point I had lost 19lbs in the pre-op diet.

The second photo is me just a few weeks ago, taken at a friends baby shower. At this point I'm down a tad more than 60lbs. Its the first time I've worn anything but black in ages!!!